The Pollack McGovern Family and NJ Lawyer, Melissa Brisman

Since 1996, attorney, Melissa Brisman, has helped build families through reproductive technology. Brisman is uniquely qualified – with the help of a gestational carrier, she and her husband are parents of twin sons and a daughter.

Based in New Jersey, Brisman is licensed to practice law in Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, and Massachusetts. Her services include, same-sex gestational carrier arrangements, locating gestational carriers, and ovum, embryo and sperm donation arrangements.

Brisman also specializes in obtaining a “birth order,” which directs the hospital or state to place the parents’ names on the child’s birth certificate. In fact this January, in a landmark ruling, Brisman was able to obtain an order for a gay man, the biological father of twins, and his gestational surrogate in Monroe County, Pennsylvania. The ruling placed the gay man as the sole legal parent on the birth certificates. No mother is to be listed on the birth certificates. It was one of the first such orders in the state of Pennsylvania. The biological father’s sperm was used to fertilize an egg of an egg donor, in an in vitro fertilization procedure. Brisman called this landmark ruling, “A victory for reproductive rights.”

In March 2003, Brisman was the first attorney to get a lesbian couple listed as parents on the birth certificate of their expectant baby in the state of New Jersey. One partner was carrying the baby, the other provided the egg. In most cases, the woman who delivers the baby is named as the mother on the birth certificate then her partner must adopt the child which could take several months or longer.

Brisman argued and won a landmark gestational carrier case involving pre-birth parentage orders before the Supreme Court of Massachusetts setting legal precedent for birth orders in that state. Brisman has helped obtain birth orders in numerous states including New Jersey, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania and Maine.

Brisman also facilitates second parent adoptions including organizing a home study and obtaining background checks. Securing parental rights, medical arrangements, health insurance coverage, obligations with respect to future contact and the rights of the child are also part of Brisman’s services.

At the beginning of this year, with the assistance of Brisman, Steve Pollack and David McGovern became proud dads of twin girls. In the following interview, Steven manages to find a few minutes to chat with Gay Parent magazine.

Steven, please give me some background information of you and David.
We are both 40, live in Manhattan and East Hampton, New York. I was raised in Brooklyn and David is originally from New Jersey. I own a family business in insurance brokerage. David works as a personal assistant for a private family.

Were you referred to Melissa Brisman?
When we started our journey, we explored the possibility of adoption but decided to try the surrogate route first. Friends of ours, a straight couple, highly recommended Melissa. From the onset we felt comfortable with Melissa and her office staff. After our initial meeting we decided to call Melissa when we were ready to start the process.

Please give a description of your surrogate.
The surrogate we chose was presented to us in the second application we received. She was 41, had a husband, two children and seemed to be a great candidate. She lives approximately 1-1/2 hours away from us. Our surrogate was the carrier and a friend of ours donated the eggs.

What were your thoughts regarding being parents of twins?
We did not know the sex of the twins until delivery time. David wanted to know but I wanted it to be a surprise. We did not do an amniocentesis and it was very difficult to know the sexes from the sonograms. However, there was nothing like the experience of finding out in the delivery room.

Will you dress them in matching outfits?
Since the twins are not identical we plan to dress them similarly but not alike.

What are your daughters’ names?
The names of the girls are Claire, named after my maternal grandmother, and Lucy, named after David’s maternal grandmother.

How do your families feel about you becoming dads to twins?
Our parents have been incredible. I have two older brothers and David has three, all are married with children. However, David and I are the first in both our families to have twins. All our immediate and extended families are ecstatic over the births of Claire and Lucy. Our mothers especially have been amazing through all of this and can’t wait to babysit.

Were your bags packed and ready to go? What was it like for you and David when you were awaiting their births?
Believe it or not we never packed our bags and the cal came at 4:00 in the morning! We scrambled to get our things together, make arrangements for the dog, and get out of the house in 30 minutes.
As for the waiting period, I was a total wreck, nervous as a cat, and every time the phone rang, I thought it was the call. David, on the other hand, was cool and calm throughout the waiting period. It drove me nuts!